Ask Austin Vol. III

Dear Dr. Austitron V.M.D.,

why is it acceptible to build houses for our dogs but not for our cats?
--Time Bomb Baby

Ms. Baby,

It is FULLY acceptable to build a house for your cat. Most breeds of cat have a noted fondness for kickin' it in high places. My animal behaviourist friends tell me height gives the cat a better observation point, allowing it to survey its "territory" and become aware of activities of people and other pets in the area. In the wild, a higher place may serve as a concealed site from which to hunt and scope out prospective mates; domestic cats are known to strike prey by pouncing from such a perch as a craggy cliff face, as does a Himalyan snow leopard. Height, therefore, can also give cats a sense of security and prestige. It's a shame that so few people understand how explosively the treehouse demand is booming in the feline community. Unfortunately, birds have the monopoly on the treehouse world and have set up zoning ordinances that make it unspeakably difficult for a cat to even lease, much less settle into a nice place up high.

Dear Dr.Austitron,

I always end up getting set-up by my friends because I can never find my own dates, or if I do spot a guy I find attractive, I can't approach them or I put myself in some twisted awkward position. So my question is, how can I approach a guy without making a damn fool of myself?
--Emily

Emily,

I don't understand why putting yourself in twisted awkward positions doesn't work! i've always loved gymnasts, ballerinas and contortionists...

First thing's first: Be yourself.

I would say to appeal to his masculinity. Ask for some kind of assistance, even if you don't need it. This will give you the opportunity to find out a little bit about how he interacts with people and allows you to further open up the conversation. Be brief, but let it flow as it comes naturally--remember you're just trying to get some contact information and you don't want to accidentally force someone into a first date upon meeting them.
Be as flirty as you need to be based on what you want from the guy. And say no to being set-up!